Self Love: How Achievable Is It – Really?!

Self Love – How Achievable is it – Really?! That is the question…
I recently saw a suggested post on Facebook; I never usually pay them any attention to them but this one resonated with me. The title said something about self love & food. 2 things which I’m not very good at right now.
I joined the newsletter and signed up to the Facebook group & started to try and believe that I really could love myself in 5 days. Did I believe that? No. I just told myself I’d try…
Challenge 1: Buy yourself some flowers. I’m not a huge fan of flowers so I wasn’t sure how this would start my self love journey but I appreciate most people do – I was bought some instead on the Monday so I thought, “that’ll do”. 
Challenge 2: Choose one thing I love about myself. This is a toughie for most people, regardless of how they look or what they’re like as a person. We’re part of a society that thinks self love is conceited and up yourself – but here I am, not only having to choose something but also broadcasting it across all my social media. I chose my hands because, well, they serve me well. They care for my children & they apply my make up. I wear my one and only prized piece of jewellery on it (my wedding ring), and, well, in all honesty, I couldn’t think of any other part of me that I wanted to spend 5 minutes rambling on about.
By day 3 I was feeling a bit sick of the whole “you are enough!” “You are amazing!” “You are a Goddess!” posts. I’m most definitely the type of person to dish out compliments like there’s no tomorrow, but I do not need to be celebrated by a bunch of strangers I’ve never met. I didn’t feel ’empowered’ like everyone else said they did & I did not love myself any more than I did 3 days before…
The next day’s challenge was to treat myself. I chose to make steak. Biiiiig mistake! My digestive system is totally out of sorts at the moment (anxiety, other health issues – I don’t know – I’m currently undergoing tests and an elimination diet so we’ll soon see). I felt sick as a dog after eating that steak. I decided there and then, this is doing NOTHING for me but make me cringe every time I saw a post from this overly smiley woman who hundreds – no, THOUSANDS – of women were wetting their knickers over. Every time she came on a Facebook live preaching about how we need to ditch the diet culture and learn to trust our bodies to make our food choices, to dump the scales essentially, I’d want to ram 47 cupcakes into my gob.
Overall, I think it was a huge waste of my precious time, a huge marketing ploy by an actress turned Goddess Guru who didn’t love herself but does now. This woman probably decided one day that if she created an annual 5 day course she’d gain 10K followers across all social media platforms, maybe selling some kind of programme once this week was over, as that’s all I saw it as really – maybe it’s the skeptical saleswoman in me?
[Shortly after writing this post I received an email from the lady herself – I was still signed up & it’s a ball ache trying to unsubscribe! – This email stated it takes longer than 5 days to learn to love yourself – yes! – “so why not sign up to our for just a few hundred £££?” WHAAAAAAAT?! Yes. The guilt writing this post has gone & I remember, I was right to be skeptical]
It got me thinking, how achievable is self love really? Can we ever love ourselves completely and truly? I’m not denying that diet culture is a huge issue, but 5 days to love yourself, really? Is that possible? Is it possible for me, a newly turned 30 year old, Agoraphobia suffering, undergoing tests for constant nausea… can I do it? For me, the answer is no.
The answer lies deeper than a bunch of flowers and appreciating my hands. I don’t care what 4,000 strangers think about me, I care what my family and friends think. They love me, I know I am good enough. I know I’m not the most attractive woman in the world but my Husband thinks I’m a bit of alright. My kids don’t give a crap whether my eyebrows are on or not. 

I don’t hate myself but I’m realistic. I am what I eat and I feel good when I’m at a healthy weight. I don’t want to ditch my scales, I don’t want to eat what I want. I want to eat healthy, I want to keep an eye on the scales, I want to live a long and happy life. There are so many eating disorders out there that need a lot more work than 5 poxy challenges and a motivational daily speech on how it changed one person’a life therefore it must work for all! 
What do you think?

3 thoughts on “Self Love: How Achievable Is It – Really?!

  1. What an honest and raw post. I have suffered from an eating disorder for MANY years (18 years-ish) and while my disordered eating patterns have all but stopped, the self-loathing/cognitive piece is VERY much alive and kicking. I would like to think that one day I could achieve total self-love; I’ve experienced it in recovery before (many years ago) so I would like to think that I could experience it again…but who knows. Maybe I can’t. I’m all about the journey. I’m just trying to put one foot in front of the other and take it one day at a time. I hope there is a day where I can wake up and look at myself the way my family and friends do but until then I’ll just keep pushing forward! xoxo

    1. I’m sorry to hear you have suffered from an eating disorder. You’re right, it’s very much a journey. To completely and wholly love yourself and every quality, personality trait & physical aspect of your being is on another level than self acceptance, which I think is more appropriate when discussing ‘self love’ in circumstances like this. To love yourself completely leaves no room for improvement. I’m not necessarily talking physical here, but we could all be a little kinder, more aware of others, more forgiving, more grateful. These are parts that I’d like to think I continually strive to improve within myself. I think it’s better worded as ‘self acceptance’ than ‘self love’. To go from despising something (your mind, the way your brain works, your figure, your feet!) to loving them in 5 days (even 50 days is all too short) is nigh impossible in my opinion. Accepting our flaws & learning to live with them is a different story. X

    2. I suffer tremendously with Anxiety / Agoraphobia and I am on a path where I am learning to accept the way my brain is wired and work with it to get me through the tough times. Learning to control the panic attacks. I will never love my mind and what it has put me through, but I am beginning to accept that this is very much ‘me’ and there is little I can do to change that x

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